I found myself breathless this morning, partly from the internal turmoil that threatens my sanity, and partly from the leaves waving in the wind atop the hill just beyond me. On the one hand there is a burning inside coming from a place of fear, and on the other a calming from an outside force.

There is an unexplainable energy that flows in the wind here in the hills of northern Michigan, that you don’t get everywhere. Is it our imagination that we somehow feel more in tune with? Is it just that it is not the same as where you have spent most of your life? Is the air different here, not as polluted as some of the larger metropolitan areas where we struggle day to day to sustain the illusion of a good life? 

Whatever it is, it is keeping the demons lurking in the dark, at bay, and for that alone, I am thankful.

I’ve heard many people these last 6 weeks, that are first time visitors, say that this is one of the most beautiful places they have ever been. Now keep in mind, that many of them are world travelers, and aren’t just from Detroit, Saginaw, or the Flint area. They sense the same thing that I have morning and evening of every day that I have been here. I would even go as far as to say that my mind has been clearer, and my ability to try to discover the future has been sharp.

While the plans for the future seem solid, and a worthy road to travel. I have yet to see the provision needed to sustain life, until even the basics of this plan come to pass. If it were just I alone on this road, the sacrifice would be a worthwhile one. But I have an on the court basketball team that I have the privilege to coach and lead. Even though I know they would follow to the ends of this earth, and climb any mountain… I am left sitting here wondering how much they can really take.

Where is the line between security and false security? I see many pursue the likes of both without even knowing it. Now I don’t presume to be any better, or on a higher plane than anyone else… but I have become very good at seeing the difference between the two. But when you are responsible for more than yourself, how far is too far? The only answer that I find this morning, is blowing in the wind, and I can’t quite seem to find my own breath long enough to catch it.