As of late I have been waking up early, getting a jumpstart on the day. The mornings here at WCR have been unbelievable. The temperature drops to the mid 50’s while we are sleeping, and within a few hours of sunrise, it starts climbing up rather quickly. The days here have been beautiful and 80 degrees, usually with a light wind. Who wouldn’t love weather like that, and I have to say it’s been that way for almost 4 weeks up here. There is something calming, and energizing all at the same time about being in a place surrounded by hills and water. You end up being moved in your inmost being, and feel more alive than normal, whatever normal is for most folk. So for me, it has been very therapeutic. 

But this morning I awoke with a heaviness that I can’t quite explain, I guess my thoughts are catching up with my optimism, and trying to shut it down. Your thoughts can have a way of doing that to you, usually before you realize what is happening… but I recognize it today. Even in the midst of all this beauty, I can’t seem to shake this feeling of… I want to say hopelessness, but that’s not what it is… but pretty close. 

We, as a family, have had a lot of things happen over the last year or so, and I have to say that for the most part, everyone has stood strong and we have enjoyed every precious moment of each day. We have nothing, yet we need for nothing. We are homeless, yet we have a home. We are stranded, yet we are mobile. We long for old friends, yet we have met many new ones. We long for a better life, but who wouldn’t want our life? 

All these ramblings come from another place of uncertainty. No plan that I have tried to make seems to be coming to pass. Try as I may, most of the doors I try to open… close. What does all of this mean? It’s getting harder and harder to be the strong one, even though I know I have the capacity and the strength. We are not in a desperate situation as of yet, but the next month will reveal our next phase. How to get there will be the question we have yet to answer. But, as in the past, the future will reveal it’s truth to us as we continue to savor each and every breath we take. We are not lost as some would believe, but only finding ourselves in the mourning of an old life left behind.