Practice what you preach…

A few weeks ago I visited my former place of employment on a Sunday, for my kids to hang out with their friends. I do this every once in awhile for their sake, and usually just hang out in their coffee shop and enjoy some conversation with the great people that hang out in there. Occasionally I step into their ‘worship center’ and take a peak at what the puppet masters are talking about. 

On this particular Sunday, I sat in their balcony and watched part of a ‘drama’ they were performing. Basically, they were explaining to the crowd of mindless followers, that “the world will know (we) are christians, by the love we have for one another.”, and that they should be examples of authentic community. 

What a crock of shit! I started thinking recently about my life over the last year, and even if I was ‘back sliding’ or back stabbing, or running from God… don’t you think that at the very least, the leadership that preaches this stuff, would at least make an effort to see how me and my family are doing, other then when they are caught off guard seeing me in a store somewhere? 

I admit that there were issues between me and the pastor, but his words to me were that those issues were ok, and that it was healthy to have different opinions and backgrounds. Well… obviously it wasn’t ok. Under the banner of ‘financial woes’, I was let go from my position suddenly. And instead of staying true to his word, that I would be able to be considered a local missionary, and use the resources of the church when needed. I was escorted around the church to remove all of my ’stuff’, and once I handed my key in, they would hand me my severence check. When I tried to get them to explain to me in the weeks ahead why they treated me that way… there was no response. So I sent a complete overview of the last years issues to the board. After they had an emergency meeting… all I got was a voicemail from the pastor, telling me he was sorry for the way he handled things… Well, thank you very much Mr. Pastor man.

As a result of that sudden release from employment, almost one year later, my family and I are living out of an RV, trying to figure out our next steps in this life. Granted there have been a few wonderful people that have reached out to us and have been there for us, but if those leaders were truly doing what they expect of their congregation, would things would be different? I guess we’ll never know.

So, go ahead and keep mindlessly following this group of leaders that claim God’s direction, and maybe you and I will sit around a fire one night living out of our borrowed motorhomes, crying on each other’s shoulders because of the injustice of words spoken but not lived. 

Since we have been in this situation, we have met many, many people that have experienced what we have, and even from the same church leadership. If you need someone to talk to, or have experienced this loss and feel alone… drop me a line. I will meet you wherever you need me to, and will be there for you. That’s more than any of these posers are capable of offering. 

–paul

 

woodsman

This post is for the woodsy character hanging in the dark, hiding behind the trees, neutered, and without a spine. You could be likened to the elusive ‘big foot’, that leaves it’s oversized mark, but can never be caught in real life. The stories swirl around from person to person, of the trail of uncertainty you leave behind, and the way the injustice you’ve caused remains to most only a myth. Why is that? Is it that people hold you in such high regard because of your name or your position? Is it that you have created a bubble around you that protects you from the truth ever affecting you or your family, while other families are sometimes almost devastated? 

Then there is the fear I see in you, that most don’t see, or maybe they see it, but are afraid themselves to be exposed. Exposure…. is that what you are afraid of? How are you able to jump from one thing to another under the banner of victory and advancement? Why do you hide in the shadows, using other peoples words to threaten the seemingly weak? What if the truth was exposed here for all to read and make judgements for themselves, instead of only getting your side of the story? 

The truth is: it will all come to light one day before your very eyes, and the hide-and-seek games you play will be seen for what they are. A cover up and manipulation of the religious system for your own advantage and fame. 

You may know how to hunt and fish and find your way through the woods… but a true woodsman could cover their tracks better than you have, and would not allow themselves to be exposed. Your reality is only in your own mind, and your deceit is there as well. You have not covered your tracks completely so as to not be discovered, so I would tread lightly and come to terms with the fear inside of you. 

 

Pursuit

Journal Entry, started on June 1st:
I find myself waiting for the words to come tonight. It’s been 4 days since we (our family) were faced with having to come up with a plan to move from our home of almost the last 12 months. The circumstances surrounding that plan don’t really deserve detailing, what is important and worth note, is the extreme ideas and plans that have been the result.

Since February, we have been talking about and anticipating a move to Tennessee. The weather, economy, and culture call to us in  our sleep. The desire to move there was prompted by the need for cash flow. But the underlying, now dominate reason… is freedom from the status quo.

Our family, and many friends (some so called) think we have lost it (even though they won’t say it to our face, but find it necessary to discuss among themselves). The don’t understand the motives that drive us and see any circumstances leading to it, as a sign that something is wrong. Some believe we are running from god (at least their limited idea of god). Others think we are just rebellious, or just plain irresponsible. I say we have finally discovered, or are discovering, who/what God is, and are ready to pursue. –end of journal entry–

Thoughts continued:

That’s it… pursuit. Websters says pursuit is: “A following with a view to reach, accomplish, or obtain; endeavor to attain to or gain; as, the pursuit of knowledge; the pursuit of happiness or pleasure.” That’s what we are doing. We have stepped outside of the box of religion that shackles many people in the Matrix-type fantasy world of fear and power (if you don’t accept god, you will be tortured in hell forever).

We have gone from running from hell, to shining the light on the hells here on earth. We have gone from keeping our heads in the clouds looking for heaven, to seeing heaven here on earth, and in the lives we are living in full pursuit of life itself.