Monthly Archives: April 2008

Well, I read a recent Rolling Stone article: click here to read, and it reminded me of my younger years. Back in high school a couple of friends of mine and I decided to check out a ’spirit-filled’ charismatic church in our community. The 3 of us spent most of our childhood in and out of baptist churches, so what we were about to encounter was outside of our comfort zones. We all ended up falling for it… hook, line, and sinker. I spent the next 18 years in charismatic churches, where what this article talks about was the norm. 

As I sit here writing this today on my 37th birthday, I have basically stepped outside of the christian church as a whole, for many reasons of which I don’t plan to even discuss. But I will say that this article made me laugh, almost cry, and most definately want to puke. After realizing that I wasted so many years involved in emotional manipulation and control, I am torn with whether or not to try and rescue others from this life draining fantasy world. But then I remember… a man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still. I was blind for 20+ years in the world of religious piety, and was militant about recruiting people. My question to myself is: what did it take to bring me out of the matrix into the real world?

My challenge to you is based on the fact that our current technology and media capabilities give us the ability to post videos documenting many facets of life. If praying to God in Jesus name for physical healing really works…. show me! If all these overstuffed wind bag preachers and healers really had the ability to heal someone… why do we not see it all over the internet and on You Tube? Why aren’t the Benny Hinn’s of the world hanging out in cancer wards? My conclusion is that it doesn’t work, and their show is all about money.

Also, if paying your tithe is supposed to bring about the blessing of god in your life in all areas. Why are 1 in 194 homes in our country getting foreclosed upon? I’ll bet that the fat cat preachers homes are not in jeopardy… but yours may be. But keep on giving to that church expecting some miracle to happen… all you are getting is overpriced entertainment, and bad entertainment at that. Keep your money, and pay your bills… you will begin to see a miracle take place in your own personal finances, instead of lining the pockets of the senior pastors and thieves. 

I’ve been awaken to more than I can comprehend. Words searching for meaning, in a world where they are just a means to an end. Endless chatter, and stringing of words, as pencil hits paper, how can it be? That each stroke makes me complete.

Physical laws govern the activity of my brain and speech. No matter how hard I try my mouth motors empty words. I peek inside a box that is me, overwhelmed with who I am, who I was meant to be. 

Thoughts of today, tomorrow and the sum of all our lives. We… the collective narrative of existense, are each given a glimpse of who we are, and yet some never fully realize. To stand and face our fears and start to dream again, traveling from another place in time, feeling everything start to fall in line. Order from chaos and then chaos again.

What if life, God, and all of creation could be summed up in one word, what would that word be?

ME